


Weak

by Bleak_Existence1496



Series: The Long Road to Recovery [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 14:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16788472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleak_Existence1496/pseuds/Bleak_Existence1496
Summary: Goodbye, EddieThat is what started it all, how can you be whole again after you lost your other?





	Weak

**Author's Note:**

> I will be adding more tags once I get up to it, also if this goes well I will do a sister story if you guys want. One from Venom's point of view and then the recovery process. Let me know, unbetaed and go easy on me, first story like this.

Life has always been a series of mistakes and failures to the point where I lost everything in  
around me. My home, my love, and eventually my life; there was a miracle that stepped in and saved me. They came in and at first I pushed them away, hiding my mind from them, hiding how weak and broken I was and am. They did not care and took my broken pieces to fit them with themselves. They cradled me when I needed it and I cradled them in return, but that has vanished and once again I'm broken.

I'm weak and broken. They cannot save me when they are gone.

Eyes snap open with the sounds of silence, pure harming silence in my head. Taking a hand I run through my hair shaking as the dream begins to fade. Fire, hotter than any I've ever felt, burning me, burning us. There is the scream of metal and something else, but it fades as I feel the cold emptiness surrounding me. 

Slowly I slide out of bed and head to washroom to stare in the mirror in hopes they will show up, that they will change the image of myself into their image, but this does not happen. This has not happened in over four months. I have been told to let go that they will be back, but I cannot.

How could I let go of the one being that made me whole?

Moving felt like I was going through molasses, even breathing was a labor that drained my already low energy levels. With effort that I do not have I make my way to the kitchen. Tater tots never appealed to me before them, yet here I am making a tray full. They loved these and now them and the memories is all I have.

I sit down waiting on the timer to ding letting my mind drift, taking me back to their death. I feel the burns, feel the sudden cold of water engulfing me, the unmistakable feeling of being alone and empty. I made my way to the shore screaming for them as loud as I could, but there was nothing in return.

The loud ring of the timer jolts me into action. Moving I take the tray out and let it cool. Watching the steam rise from the balls of starch and mush tears roll down my cheeks. My knees give out as I collapse to the floor, horrible full body wracking sobs leave me. The emptiness inside my chest grows more. This is not something I wish on anyone ever.

Managing to gather myself I move to the table, and stare at at the tray resting on the counter. Rushing I throw open the fridge grabbing a bottle of beer and down it which is followed by another and another. I cleaned out the beer which leaves me with a pleasant buzzing in my mind. Grabbing what money I have left I go to Ms Chen's store and get more. The look she gives me only makes it worse, pity, always pity out of everyone, Anne and Dan are the worse with the pity filled looks. They did not have to feel their other rip away to save them, nor would they ever feel that. I move through the city to get away from my shity apartment and the looks of pity. I a walk till I am out of beer again. Feeling the warmth of the alcohol running through my veins gives me the courage to do this.

I stand on the edge of the bridge overlooking the water, for once my fear of heights does not take me over. The wind rips through me and my hoodie. The crashing of the water against any surface lulls me into a peaceful state. 

"Goodbye Eddie."

Their final words to me they said goodbye and died. Now I am alone, hallow, and painfully aware that nothing will ever fill the hole they left in my chest.

A deep breath and a step back I head home, I could not kill myself. I would not kill myself, I will keep living as punishment for letting them die. A life without them and without being whole is all I get for failing.

I failed to twice now in killing myself, just another failure to add to the ever growing list.

I am nearly home when someone asked if I would like a good time. Pausing for only a moment I take their offer. Paying for sex or physical contact,so begins the horrible cycle. 

Three months into my spiral of self destruction Anne stops in and freezes. Bottles of alcohol lay empty everywhere, used condoms laying with them, and the air smells heavily of cannabis.

“Eddie, what happened?” That fucking question pisses me off so much.

“Well, Anne, I lost the one being that made me whole. There is a hole where they rested in my chest. Without them I am so broken and weak that I could not even kill myself. That is what happened.” The answer is so sharp and heated that she steps back. I shrug as I take another hit. She frowns moving towards me.

“Eddie you can't keep doing this. You'll die.” Her protests make me laugh which I follow with another sip.

“Like it matters anymore, with this hollow feeling and the painful silence anything is better.” I retort looking through the numbers on my phone for a quick lay. Anne grabs my phone glaring at me and I return the glare coupled with a snarl.

“I care for you. Dan cares for you. We are not letting you kill yourself because of some parasite,” She snaps back. That word, parasite, makes me freeze, “Eddie, I didn't mean it. I…” I cut her off with a hand pointed to the door.

“Get out now.” I growl standing slowly. She steps back fear written all over her face.

“I'm sorry, Eddie, but you can't keep this cycle up. It was a monster eating you.” She presses. The anger within me boils over and I throw the bottle in my hand at the wall.

“LEAVE!” I shout. She flinches then leaves but not before stopping to inform me of something.

“Dan and I will always be here for you all you need to do is just reach out.” She quips leaving me with the silence. This maddening silence presses around me. Running I head to the washroom to throw up, a habit I have gotten into since I could not stomach much anymore. 

Splashing water on my face after I clean up I stop not looking at the mirror just yet. A silent pray goes through my ever silent mind as my gaze meets my reflection. Pain washes over me and I punch the mirror. 

“What am I to do without you, V? It's so quiet, it hurts with the silence. I can't do this anymore, Ven. Please let me go with you. Take me with you to the other side, I can't keep living when it hurts so much. I'm too broken and weak to do this alone. I need you, I need us. We need us.” I say softly as tears spill from me and gather in the sink. Blood covers much the glass and counter as I clean up. 

I spend the night cleaning not only myself but my place as well. I stare at Dan's number till I hit call. When he answers I start with an apology, which he accepts. We talk for about two hours which leads me to being placed on several medications and two weeks in a mental health ward. Anne and Dan do their best to help me get back to where I can be alone. They give me a radio to play sound at all times, it helps, but sometimes it's not enough. They even take me out to see the city and out for exploring, as Dan calls it. I would rather call it them taking me for a walk. 

Life still hurts to live and the hole never goes away, but I can cope and live for Venom and myself.

A full year after I lost Venom and many days of going to talk to a therapist about what has been going on in my mind. Countless pills, walks, and late nights wishing for the silence to stop. A year alone and broken again. A year knowing that something's can never be replaced nor should they.

I drag myself out of bed feeling a weight in my chest, I count this as sorrow for being alone a whole year being a failure of a host and friend. I lean over the washroom counter to wash my face when I catch something in the mirror. In a blink it is gone so I push it aside, but something is off. Someone is in here with me, heart racing I turn to see nothing. Panic fills my body and I try to run, when my legs stop working. I collapse to the floor just inches from my phone when what feels like warm water mixed with the slither of a snake covers my arm. My breath stops as I watch inky blackness cover my skin forming a second arm around mine, they clutch my hand and my world feels right again.

“Hi Eddie.”


End file.
